We lost Fleurp and Twee within two weeks of each other (and pretty major TFK news)

 

This post is breaking my heart.. If your heart is too sensitive for Fleurp and Twee's story, you can scroll down to the last paragraph where it says "Major News" which I put in bold.

Fleurp:
Earlier this year, Fleurp was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, so we were giving her medication twice a day to help with that. Her levels weren't going down well so we had a medication increase. She is not an easy cat to tend to as she had many opinions and all of them told her that she absolutely positively did not need my help. She hated when I shaved her each spring to help manage her anemia and she hated it when I started giving her fluids every other week or so as she was old and her kidneys could use the help.. She would react like I was biting her and fight to get away. Even trimming her claws was often an exercise in how much I could do before she lost her patience with me.. (most of the time I got them all done, but not always)

She changed when we moved out of Maine. She was a social cat before, but in the years since moving here she separated herself from us most of the time. In the first house we moved to, she almost never left the mud room/kitchen. She rarely came down the hall to go to bed with us.. Her world became very small.  When we moved into our current house, 90% of her life was the kitchen or living room windows (the two rooms are barely separated with a double door arch way).  She seemed happy and totally content. She liked it when we catered to her desires and gave her "candy bars" often standing on the island demanding them.

She spent 10 years becoming anemic once or twice a year. Mostly in the spring but occasionally in the fall. We aren't sure why but she would have a very dramatic shed from winter to summer and I know a lot of fur can impact nutrient absorption (which is why we did what we could to shave her so she consumed less) but it wasn't perfect. She still had issues.  I knew she would most likely not make it to 20+ years, but I never guessed that her thyroid levels would damage her heart.

It started with diarrhea that was gross and smelly, she stopped eating. I took her in for an exam and tests and more bloodwork. Her liver was seriously compromised. My vet suspected her heart was an issue. I took her home to try to fix what we could but we couldn't. I took her back to the vet (on July 11th), thinking there was more that we could do to pull her though this, but after an exam, it was clear she was suffering. We considered taking her to a specialist for further diagnostics in hopes of finding more answers that we could treat, but knowing Fleurp's willingness to bite, her hatred of traveling and being poked and prodded, and the only slim chance there was a better answer, we opted to let her go.

Was it the "right" call? I have no idea.. but it was one made with a whole lot of love.. we wanted to do right by her.. and we felt it was the right decision at the time, and that is what matters, that is what I hold on to.

Twee: 
Twee does not do well with changes to The Crew. Her first loss was Emmy. She was a young girl then and hardier, and there were many other cats for her to hang out with, but you could tell she spent some time being lost. She and Ollie never really got along (he was far too grumpy for her simple nature) so his passing wasn't as hard. He had been the ruler of The Crew so everyone was a bit lost when he left us, but we didn't notice anything specific with her. When Jack passed, Twee became quite despondent. She ate, but not nearly enough and we almost lost her too. We ended up taking her to an emergency facility, where she spent the weekend (and a lot of money) before she was well enough to come home. 

When Fleurp passed, I had been saying for years that Twee wasn't going to be with us much longer. She was 18, 19, 20 years old and had stage two and then three kidney disease. Before Fleurp started with the diarrhea I noticed that Twee was losing weight and I really didn't like how she was looking so I took her to the vet for some bloodwork to see if there was anything else that might be done. I was kinda hoping it was her thyroid.. but it wasn't. Her kidneys just couldn't do their job and she was feeling miserable.  I tried antinausea and appetite stimulant but it didn't really help all that much. (Sadly, pilling her diminished her quality of life.. with the fluids I know that this life style wasn't that sustainable) and I tried to prep my husband for her eventual end. He was in complete denial. I'm not sure which was worse, Twee at 20 or Kit at 9..  When Fleurp passed, Twee really started to go down hill. I pulled out every single thing I could think of.. 

He wanted to try more things, but I had given it my last ditch effort. I said we could try for a second opinion and he glommed on to that so hard but I explained the chances were that we would put her through more stress to potentially get a short amount of time with her. In the end, he realized that it was time. Thankfully my vet lives right near by and was willing to come to the house.

While we both appreciate not being serenaded by Twee singing opera at 11pm and 3am on a regular basis, they are both missed terribly.  Not only did we lose both cats within two weeks of each other, but going from five cats to three was quite dramatic. 

And to top it all off, we are in the midst of a major life change. The Catman is being transferred from VT to NC. This is something that has been bandied about for a couple of months. What is horrible is that we were so incredibly worried when we moved from ME to this area because Kit was absolutely horrible at traveling by car.. even a 10 minute ride would make her drool horribly for hours. She was a tiny cat and it was really worrisome. When she developed cancer and passed away within a week of diagnosis, part of me was relieved that we didn't have that added stress. Her situation was clear cut. She had a cancerous growth that was incompatible with life. Her inability to travel hindered our ability to get her additional care. I worried about such a huge move with two elderly and medically fragile kitties and wondered what we were going to do.  Part of me yells at myself for "giving up too easily" because of the real potential of moving 12 hours away and not wanting to put either of them through that.  I am sure in time I will forgive myself for making two pretty clearly correct decisions because on another level I'm relieved I don't have that added stress of moving them, but I don't think it will be any time soon.

Major news:
We are going to Raleigh NC for about six months while he is in training, so we are looking for a place to live. We are going to rent a place while he is getting up to speed and then we are going to look for a home and move to Charlotte where his work wants him. This means some serious down sizing and renting a storage unit so we don't have to get rid of EVERYTHING and have to rebuy it in a few months. I am downsizing a lot of my crafting supplies and what not.. it is very very painful for me. I am getting rid of a LOT of my foster supplies since I won't be fostering next year unless he trains quickly and we get into a home faster.  I'm getting rid of a lot of my own cat things because I own far fewer cats and don't see us adding any for at least a year (see the last unless).  A twelve hour move to a two bedroom apartment is a far cry from a 2 hour move to a three (plus) house with a full basement and huge amount of storage (first house - second house had more of both things).  As someone who has attached a lot of emotions to the things I have chosen to own, letting so much go is a really painful process. I am working on giving away what I can't sell, sell what I can, and hopefully it will pare us down enough to be comfortable. but going from an 11 room house to a two bedroom apartment.. yeah.. ouch

So... it has been a year

 I can't believe I haven't posted here in just under a year. smh.

For the past three years I have said multiple times - mostly at hosting renewal times since this blog is costing me several hundred dollars a year - that I need to get off my own host and move back to free blogger, and the guilt of not doing that has been kinda weighing on me. It doesn't help that since losing Jack and Muffin I just haven't been in the mood. It used to be so fun to blog, recently (okay for the past two years) it has seemed more like a chore; something I wasn't very good at (I see people who have been doing this for far less time being far more popular) 

Since I recently had to renew - and with a few other life changes - I am going to try really hard to get off my own hosting and back on to blogger. The problem is Blogger isn't making it easy.  I have several thousand posts and they don't let me start at post one, nor do they let me jump to any certain page anymore, so have to scroll through all of them to make the appropriate edits to get my images uploaded and off my server. I have a feeling that I will be severely editing my blog and simply removing a lot of old posts.. especially those from 20 years ago that no one looks at (nor should they, oh they were horrible) 

I'm guessing this will start Nov/Dec.. but we'll see.

I have been fostering for the past year.. Here are the ones I can tell you about:

August 2023: Luna (mom black), Lily (mom tabby), Lotus, Lunaris , Lilac, Lotus

I was asked to foster two kitties that came from a home with too many cats, and they came with four kittens. No one really knew who belonged to which cat, so we just put them all together.  Since cats are communal when raising kittens, it generally isn't an issue as long as there are enough resources, and that held true for this bunch.

Lilac (black w/ white paws), Lotus (the boy.. short hair), Lavender (Tabby), Lunaris (longer hair) 

Lilac was three to four days older than the others.. and I think she was Luna's kitten

These kittens were very active, so there aren't a lot of photos of them as they got older.. but here are a few.

November 2023: Willow
I was jonesing for a kitten fix and reached out to the shelter about an hour before Willow showed up. Initially they said no then emailed me asking if I wanted to take on a bottle baby

She was a great little kitten who lived in the bathtub of my master bedroom until she was old enough to eat on her own. She went a few weeks with some pretty horrid diarrhea but we finally got that under control

Willow was with me through most of January.. I probably held on to her a little too long, but can you blame me? I was tempted to keep her, as she was flippin adorable, but any new kittens I keep need to NEED me.. and that simply wasn't Willow.

April 2024: Lakely and her kittens:



Lakely came to me pregnant. She was quite nervous when she arrived and while she was friendly, she wasn't communicating with me very well. I tried to make her feel comfortable in the foster room but she was a bit overwhelmed with everything... or maybe she was just in labor as the next morning we had three new kittens.. two girls and a boy (who was all black). Oh they were cute... 

Lakely only wanted to keep them contained in the tube scratching post - she was not the only one over the years - but it was difficult to monitor the kittens so we spent some time trying to get her to accept other spots, but she didn't want to. I got her to move to a bigger location only to have her decide after a day that it was too much.  I had them just under a week before they started with diarrhea.  I pulled every trick in my book but it would not stop. I couldn't get the medication that would stop coccidia quickly so we put them on Albon hoping it would be enough, but it was not. They failed quickly.  I returned them to the shelter so they could have more hands and eyes on them (as I had to work most days) but after a couple of days there they passed. I didn't get to know them at all. I was going to name them Squam, Silver and Ash.


May 2024: Bambi and her kittens.

Bambi was a very young mother who was a bit nervous in the foster room for a few weeks. Because of the previous litter I didn't feel comfortable putting her in the bathroom despite the fact I disinfected it three time and steam cleaned it twice. I simply didn't want to risk it. This meant she had way too much room and she kept putting the kittens in the closet with the litter boxes and other weird places until I put in the doll pop up camping tent. She liked that.

The kittens were all really sweet and loving. They came with names that I used except for Thumper as the others seemed to follow the theme of Bambi with Honey and Bee.. so I changed his name. 

Bee came really really close to staying with me. She was un-bee-leavably cute and sweet and licked me and snuggled me hard, but I knew there was a serious chance that we were facing some major life changes and it was not fair to anyone to add another cat into the mix. Thumper and Honey went to live with my friend Kathleen, who lives in Maine, and Bee went to a friend of their family, so I have gotten updates on all of them. they are all very happy and doing well.  Bambi was not happy in the room once the kittens gained full autonomy so she went back to stay at the shelter a few weeks before the kittens left in July.

And then my world broke.. but that is for another post.. 

Tundra and her "kittens"

So a bit over a month ago I got the call to foster Tundra. She had a very round belly, which is often indicative of being pregnant, so I was totally on board.  I went to the shelter to pick her up, and yes, she was quite round of belly even though I couldn't feel kittens.  I figured it was early enough along that I couldn't feel anything.  I brought her home and settled her in and realized very quickly she was a very high energy kitty who didn't really want to sit still to have her belly examined.

I figured she would start to enjoy it as they got bigger, but she never did. I kept trying to pin her down and I would get a moment or two of feeling what was going on but then she would be out of there!

After three weeks I was starting to wonder. I wasn't really keeping track of the time she was with me so I thought I had another few days before I should have to feel something (as cats are only pregnant 63 or so days).  Even if she only had one, which didn't make sense because her belly was so round to start with, at that point I should be feeling something.  Well I ended up looking at the calendar and realized I was almost on week four.  I called over my friend and she was perplexed too. She thought she felt mammary development (as did I) but no babies, so I brought her to work for an ultrasound.. 

And what did they find when they put the gel on her belly?? A spay tattoo.. 

She had us all fooled.. So I ended up bringing her right back to the shelter 

I can't imagine she was up for adoption long.. she was incredibly sweet and fun.. although a bit of a trip hazard as she liked to be attached to your ankles as you walked across the room.

I did end up bringing home fosters with actual babies.. There was some health issues so I was a bit afraid to introduce them initially. Hopefully, I will have some time to introduce them to the blog later this week.

May 2023 Foster Kittens #PacManFeverKittens (have tissues)

In early May, I got the call to foster a mom and her four four-week-old kittens. I immediately said yes and made plans to go to the shelter to pick them up.  They came home on the 9th

I had a mom and five kittens.. Mom was a Tuxie as was one of the male kittens, I had two black, one with a white bikini on her belly the other solid black was a boy and a snowshoe girl for fun.

They came named, but I didn't get the paperwork so I had no idea what they were called and I was pretty convinced from the beginning that they would be named after the ghosts in PacMan. Inky, Blink, Pinky and Clyde. Mom became Sue.

Sue was absolutely petrified, so I set her up with my cat cage with everything she needed in there and covered it with a couple of sheets so she had a place she could hide away. Everything seemed to be going well, other than I couldn't see her, because food was eaten, litter boxes were filling up, and I could even see her on the webcam coming out when I wasn't there. The kittens seemed to be thriving and were super cuddly

but shortly there after I started finding this all over the room.

And it did not stop. Day after day after day I found huge clumps of fur everywhere. The kittens were all in good health, growing like weeds and eating solid foods just fine, so I contacted the shelter about bringing Sue back. It took a while but she went back on the 21st of May I finally got a look at her once I got her in the carrier, my heart broke for her.

It is unfortunate that we can't "fix" them all.  She seemed so content I observed her on the webcam, watching over her kittens and eating, but clearly she was too stressed out with the noises of the household so she went back to where she came from. I imagine she is doing well.

Shortly after she left I started noticing some odd behaviors with the boys. They were so fleeting that I was unsure if I was seeing it or not. I would hear weird scrambling noises and by the time it registered that it was happening and I looked the noises had stopped. One time Clyde was playing and he popped up and was on all four legs but they were splayed out much like the poles of the stereotypical Teepee... but by the time it registered that it was odd he was off playing, so I just chalked these things up to kittens being kittens and nothing I really needed to be concerned about.

Unfortunately, Blinky (the black girl) broke with some congestion so we started her on antibiotics. No one else seemed to have any issues at all, so I only treated her. At the time it was hard to tell Blinky from Inky and so I had to "check under the tail" to figure it out.. (until I then noticed that Blinky was wearing a bikini.. I am very annoyed that it took me so long to figure that one out) It helped that she was super cuddly at this time so I didn't have to check often.  She didn't get any better on the first antibiotic they recommended so after about a week we switched to another and she improved.

Then they ALL became super snuggly.. 

and more often than not I would have to send a text to my husband to come "rescue" me from being covered in kittens.  All he had to do was walk down and distract them so I could escape. I hadn't had such a cuddly bunch of kittens in a really long time.. it was really nice.. 

I should have known 

It went from "is this even a thing?" to "OH WHAT THECRAPISGOINGONWHATTHEHECKISTHEEMERGENCYNUMBER?!?!?" in an instant.. 

I vaccinated them one morning.  I was careful and I did it in the leg instead of the scruff and everything went well. I monitored them for a while and nothing happened, they ate, they played, they cuddled, all was well.  I went out for the day and came home a little late. I went to medicate Blinky and realized I grabbed Inky instead.  I turned and put him on the cat tree, making sure as I always do that all four paws were down before I let him go and I turned to find his sister.  I put him on the tree so that it would be easier to assess which black cat I need to pick up first.. 

Anyway, as soon as I had my back to him I heard a THUD. He had fallen off and had lost control of of his limbs. He was with me - it was not a typical seizure, but it presented a lot like one. It lasted about half an hour.. While I was on the phone with the shelter I was asked if the other kittens were okay. I had locked them up in the bathroom because they were getting all up in Inky's business and it was frustrating him, so I had my husband check and they were all fine, but a moment later Clyde lost control of his limbs. 15 minutes later the episode was over and everyone was fine.

What comes next is very difficult so I am hiding it in white font. Highlight it if you feel you want to know what happened, but you don't..

That night after the "incident" everyone was fine. I monitored them for quite some time and nothing else came of it. I finally convinced myself to go to bed and in the morning the kittens were fine. That night, and subsequently every night after Clyde would have episodes of loss of control. He would be fine when I watched him on the webcam, he would be fine when I went into the room, but when I engaged them in play he would lose control.  Initially Inky's front legs basically contracted so his paws were behind his head every time he tried to move they went further back. Clyde's legs just went out from under him, like he intended to go left but went right instead. With each additional instance, Clyde seemed to get worse and worse. The episodes lasted longer and longer and he was getting so frustrated. I would try to hold him and calm him down, which helped, but he would get up and try to walk long before his body was ready which would frustrate him which would make things worse again.  It took several weeks for me to realize that the more stimulated he was, the worse it got. I would often have to lock him up in a carrier for 10  minutes or longer for the whole thing to pass so he could walk again. Sometimes I tried to quiet him down by feeding him, and he would lay by the bowl and eat just fine. If he tried to stand at the bowl he would fall over, often into the food. He was also determined to use the litterbox while having an episode. I do not know why, but he would work his way over there, falling over every few steps and then flail in the box getting litter everywhere and far too many times I had to pull litter out of his eye.  The worst was when he was absolutely sure he could get up on the couch.. While Clyde's issues got progressively worse, Inky's seemed to almost disappear. Unless he was really stimulated he was fine. The shelter recommended some bloodwork so I took they to work to have the blood drawn and having that stimulation set Inky off. Clyde wasn't participating in the blood draw so they gave him some drugs to calm down first and he was just fine. They give Inky some anti-seizure medication and his episode basically stopped but he was quite out of it - something that never happened when he came out of it normally. Clyde's issues got so bad that it seemed to start happening when I would turn on the lights, so I tried not doing that, and still he had one. Then they started in the morning as well. He was so frustrated by his body it was killing me. Again, the visuals are heartbreaking, and to know he knew this was happening and we couldn't do anything about it... 

We ran bloodwork on them, nothing showed. they looked for a liver shut which might be causing a buildup of waste products that could cause something like this and they ran a toxoplasmosis panel. Nothing. The shelter recommended Gabapentin and we tried that but medicating them was too simulating so I had to hide it in baby food, which was also quite stimulating (being that it is super yummy smelling and the girls totally wanted to be involved)  After a week they almost seemed worse.  I had been sending regular updates and videos to the shelter but I felt they needed to be in their care. My hope was that with regular stimulation (my kitten room is so quiet most of the time) their bodies might get used to it and get better at dealing with it but at the very least they could know how frequently it happened because I had such a limited amount of time with them, having to be at work a good portion of the day and sleeping a good portion of the night. 

So back they went. My heart absolutely broke and I was within inches of adopting Pinky as she liked to crawl up in my neck and lick me much like Muffin used to (thankfully over the weeks that have happened since they went back I have been able to step back from needing to adopt her, I really don't think right now is the right time to bring another cat into my home - which is one more reason for the delay in this post - I wasn't sure if it was going to end with an adoption announcement or not and I had to wait for her to be neutered to do it if it was going to happen) 

About a week later I got the news that the episodes were still happening and lasting long periods of time. The only thing that could be done for them was to see a specialist - which would have cost thousands of dollars and there was zero chance that the vet would then say "oh yes, lets do this cheap and easy thing and they'll be fine".  Chances are they were either going to end up on medication for their whole lives - which does not bode well for them, or they were going to have a life ending issue.

The shelter opted to euthanize Inky and Clyde.. 

I don't disagree with the decision.. and while my heart hurts way too much to say I fully support it, in time I will. All they knew was that when they were overly happy their bodies didn't work. That is no life to have. Please don't try to tell me that there were other options, as I will flood you with the videos I took of just how frustrated they were. No one needs to see that. 

Getting all four in one shot was near impossible. Clyde was so excited about the feathers I brought out to catch their attention he was starting to break with an episode.. I had to stop or he was going to fall off the couch.. 

I am just thankful that they had two months of happy and joy, and good food and warm beds and oodles of snuggles and kisses.. The shelter gave me paw prints and they will live with me and in my heart for quite some time.. Their pawprints will go along side Emmy, Ollie, Jack, Muffin, Eli, Kit, and the rest of The Crew when they pass... albeit theirs are so much smaller.. 

Thankfully I have a new distraction, and kitten watch is on for a few weeks.. but that is information for another post.. 

Tails from the Foster Kitten Calendar 2023

 If you are interested in purchasing a calendar of my foster kitten for 2023 you can get one here 

I was contemplating making one about Xena and her boyfriend but I'm not sure there is enough interest in one.. 😻  Let me know if you are interested and I can get it uploaded.. 

Since people like to see the photos beforehand, here they are: